NOT Lost in Translation

I had arrived in the old city for the festival.

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People from all over the known world had come. Some had stayed on from the previous festival, Passover, 50 days earlier.

Rumours had spread every where about what happened. Apparently the rebel leader Jesus had been crucified and then had come to back to life. Our Jewish leaders told us that the body had been stolen by his disciples but we heard later that his grave had been under Roman guard.

As well as that rumours had been spreading that he had been seen walking and talking with people.
Apparently he had even had a fish breakfast on the beach.

Things just didn't add up.

Jerusalem had become a magnet to everyone wanting to know more. I had travelled from Rome and I couldn't understand much of what was being said.

So I was heading up to the temple when all of a sudden there was this wild but gentle wind that blew down the street.

Dust filled the air.

The breeze flowed in to quite a large house. The doors were all shut so no one could get in, but the house shook. I managed to squeeze up to a window and peer through a crack.

There must have been about 120 people crammed in this room and it was on fire. Flames of fire danced and bobbed around the room and then settled on their heads. The room glowed with warmth and light, joy and peace.

What I would say to my therapist!

Then they started talking. They came outside all fired up and spoke to us in our own language. Word for word everyone understood exactly what was being said.

Any thing lost in translation? No way, I fully understood everything. They were talking about the incredible works of God.

Some people suggested they were drunk. No way! They were all very sober.

The message they spoke talked of a freedom found only in Jesus Christ.

They glowed with joy.

One of their leaders, Peter, got up and spoke to us. What he said cut to my heart. I gave my life to Christ, was baptised and forever changed. 3000 of us turned to Christ that day.

This was the start of my new life in Christ.

Barry Pearman

Touch Me with Truth that Burns like Fire

Lord,

send the gift of your Spirit

     to fill this place

           and myself

                 and the world.

Touch me

     with truth

            that burns like fire,

                   with beauty

                            that moves me like the wind;

and set me free, Lord,

  free to try new ways of living;

      free to forgive myself and others;

         free to love and laugh and sing;

              free to lay aside my burden of security;

                              free to join the battle of justice and peace;

                       free to see and listen and wonder again

                          at the gracious mystery of things and persons;

free to be,

    to give,

        to rejoice as a child of your Spirit.

And Lord, teach me how to dance,

       to turn around

           and come down where I want to be,

               in the arms and heart of your people

                     and in you,

that I may praise and enjoy you forever.

Ted Loder

You Bore Me Up

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You Bore Me Up

You bore me up from the maudlin gloom
From the swirling murky mists;
The Stygian depths of mortal vanity
And nursed my melancholy wounds
With gentle succour and tender ministrations

You raised my frail feeble frame
And laid it upon a bed of white lilies
Stripped away the death pall
That clung to my ashen flesh
And washed away the brooding stench of death
With tender tears of mercy and compassion

And there in the waxing glow of dawn's first light
In the golden alchemy of a virgin May morn
You softly brushed
Your ruby red lips to mine

And I imbibed your sweet fragrance
Through every pore
Satiated my parched, barren soul
With long, desperate draughts
From the chalice of Your passion

My heart opening, expanding
Like honeysuckle awakening
To the warmth of spring;
Blooming in blissful communion
As the sweet Nectar of Life
Pulsing through my veins

Your Life Blood

Transformed the coal blackness
Of my tainted, wounded soul into pure, refined gold

Pure light!

And then You bore me up
From the melancholy maudlin gloom
The swirling, murky mists
The Stygian depths of mortal vanity
To the rapturous heights
And inexplicable peace

Of everlasting life

Mac Mackenzie

Mac Mackenzie is a folk singer, musician, poet, essayist, penny philosopher, slow life advocate & emerging minimalist. He speak's English & Gaelic. He likes to dream and tell big fish stories. He like's God & God likes him. You can read more of Mac's work at his Blog Diary of an Arts Farmer and follow him onTwitter and Google+.

birth - The Bit in Between - death

One Death every 40 seconds. 

Photo Credit: Pink Sherbet Photography via Compfight cc 

It is estimated by the World Health Organisation that each year approximately one million people die from suicide. 

One death every 40 seconds and it is predicted that by 2020 the rate of death will increase to one every 20 seconds.

Suicide is now among the three leading causes of death among those aged 15-44 (male and female). Suicide attempts are up to 20 times more frequent than completed suicides. (Source)

We have a problem. 

What is having suicidal depression truly like? 

What helps? 

Austrian born, Sinda Ruzio-Sabian, tells her story of living with Suicidal Depression. 

Is it an easy read? 

No, its painful because it is real. 

Sinda tells her story through poetry and prose. 

Many people believe that talking about suicide is dangerous. 

Sinda disagrees

'We need to bring it out into the open by sharing our lives with others in the hope that it can ameliorate the isolation, guilt and shame'

As I read the stories and the poems I was taken to the stories of many others that struggle with depression. 

The shame, guilt, and fear of telling others about what is really going on. Isolation creeps in and vulnerability increases. 

'The Bit in Between' brings the reality of  living with suicidal depression into a format that can be embraced by others. 

The hope is that by doing this others can truly connect with the struggle. 

Sinda gives the reader a set of tools she has collected over the years that has helped her.

• Maintain an Attitude of Gratitude
• Watch my vocabulary with myself, attempting to get rid of should's, have to's. 
• Daily readings - from various affirmative and twelve - step programmes' books.
• Meditation
• Listen to relaxing music/ sounds.
• Exercise
• Eat well.
• Sleep
• Socialise
• Ask - checking with friends that what they said is what I heard. 

Sinda shares her secrets. 

'They say you are as sick as the secrets you keep. Well all I now know is that until I started leaking with therapy I was a very sick puppy! Quite apart from the fact that I did start talking I wasn't aware of how sick I was. Sharing these feelings. Finding out what I wanted and how to express these wants. Bit by bit learning to be open with others was, and continues to be, a slow and often painful slog but the journey continues to worth it.'

Do you, or someone you know, struggle with suicidal depression? 

This could be a life saving book. 

You can purchase it at Amazon (Paper back and Kindle) or directly, by emailing the author. 



Like to leave a comment?

Barry Pearman

Listening for the Whisper Amidst the Noise

It is a noisy world.

Photo Credit: michale via Compfight cc 

So many sensory inputs.  

Text messages to read, social networks to follow, email, radio, T.V., movies, blogs, podcasts, books, eBooks, audio books. 

The list can go on and on.

So much noise!

Does all this noise add to your life or could it be a distraction from life? 

Is it just a glutinous consumption of more information? 

The writer of Proverbs says this

A leech has twin daughters named “Gimme” and “Gimme more.” Proverbs 30:15 (The Message)

I read this the other day on my twitter feed.

@kimgarst: Face your problems...DO NOT Facebook your problems ｡◕‿◕｡ #youcandosocial

Do we face our problems, or Facebook them? 

Do we tweet out our misery into the land of noise hoping for some sympathy or a magic information wand to suddenly appear.

I think of the Bible character Elisha. Here was a guy burnt out, exhausted, depressed, and suicidal. He runs in panic to the desert, finds a cave to hide, seeks God, and experiences noise.

A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn’t to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn’t in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn’t in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.

When Elijah heard the quiet voice, he muffled his face with his great cloak, went to the mouth of the cave, and stood there. A quiet voice asked, “So Elijah, now tell me, what are you doing here?” 1 Kings 19:12, 13

Elisha's story is not unlike many of ours.

Elisha is being pounded by noise. 

The internal noise between the ears. 

His fears, anxieties, the thoughts of people wanting to kill him. So he runs to try and escape. 

A desert and a cave. 
             A storm, and a fire and then 
                                                                                a whisper. 

From chaotic 'out of control' panic to a 'gentle and quiet whisper'.

It takes effort to listen for the whisper.

A focus and a stilling of the self.

Opening the self to God in its totality involves meeting God in mind and heart, the senses and imagination, stillness and action, meditation and contemplation. David G. Benner.

Perhaps a method of hearing the whisper's is Lectio Divina.

David Benner in Opening to God: Lectio Divina and Life as Prayer describes a six part process to listening.

1. Place. Pick a place that you will use for regular times of lectio divina. Make this somewhere quiet that will support attentive openness to God.

2. Time. Be realistic as you think about when and for how long you will try to practice this prayer, but also plan on being regular. 

3. A short reading. Take a small morsel of Scripture and expect God to give you a word or phrase from it that will nourish your soul and meet your present spiritual needs.

4. Listen for a word from God. In this context, a "word" does not necessarily mean a single word; it could be a phrase or even a short sentence. It means a meaningful message summed up in a few words. Notice the gentle touch that draws your attention, makes you stop and think, or stimulates a memory or a body sensation. Trust that this is God's word for you.

5. Respond. Thank God for the gift you have been given and for God's personal word to you. And then allow your heart and head to lead you in a response.

6. Be with God in stillness. Finally, as your worded prayer comes to an end, simply be with God in stillness. Sit in silence in God's presence. Soak in the goodness of God's grace.

We have so much noise in our lives. 

Is it too much?

Spend some time today in quiet, just listening to the whispers of God. 

Questions to consider and leave a comment

• What sources of 'Noise' dominate your world?
• Follow David Benner's 6 steps and leave a comment about what whisper you heard.

Barry Pearman

First Loved

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First Loved

There has been only one love I have known.
There has only been One who ever loved me.
Even with all my flaws and brokenness.
I felt His love all the stronger.
He was there to pick me up when I had fallen.
No one ever cared that much.
I pushed them away and they let me.
Not Jesus, He has always remained
loyal and true.
Always faithful.
He never left me alone as I cried.
He never left me alone even when I yelled to do.
No matter how hard I fought.
He remained.
No anger, no hate, no judgement, only love.
I could see it in His eyes.
Burning like a flame that reached out to me.
His Spirit was so calming, so soothing.
He was always able to put my beast to rest.
He always said to me, "Brother, I love you."
That always made all the difference in me.
Just a lonely, lost soul was I.
He came to me, right where I was.
He sat with me, as I sat alone in the dark
of my room.
He caught all the tears that I shed.
He did not care what I had done.
He did not care where I had been.
All the evil and wickedness I had said
and done.
All of the same I had seen.
The shame I was feeling.
All the anger, self-destructiveness,
and the self loathing.
Jesus reached right into my heart and
took it all away.
He gave me back my innocence.
He restored me.
He redeemed me.
He justified me.
My Lord, my Saviour.
It was His grace alone that saved me.
And throughout all of my years.
Even when I did not see Him.
It was His unfailing love that kept me
safe and sound.
Even when I was coming all undone.
And when everything was falling down
on me.
He was the one who came and rescued me.
He was, He is, He will always be my first love.
Jesus, my one and only love.
Emmanuel, God with us.
My first love to this very day and beyond.
I cannot love without His love.
I can love now because He first loved me.

Scott David Buckley

Scott blogs at The Poet Mind and can be followed on Google +, Twitter, and Facebook

Your Passion is WHAT!

I like to write. 

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The other day I was listening to someone, and it wasn't until I wrote down what they said that I was fully able to understand. 

Writing captures something for me. 

I am able to grasp hold of loose thoughts, random ideas and powerful emotions and form them into sentences and paragraphs. 

I like to write.

For my blog I try to grasp something of what is passing through the thought blender for the day. Sometimes, I confess, its like dishwater while at other times its like one of those energy smoothies high performance athletes gulp down. 

I have recently been reading some of my earlier blogposts and re-editing into my current form of writing which is easier to read on a screen. By the way if you want to find out about this style of writing check out this post by writer Jeff Goins. 

As I have read some of the posts I have thought 'Did I write that!' both in a sense of delight and in horror. I haven't removed any posts, they are part of my history, part of my weave. 

Why am I telling you this? 

It's because 'I Like to write'.

Deep down you too will have something that you really like to do. You may well dismiss it as not being that important, while actually it really is and believe me it is vital for you to share it with others. It may well be God's gift to others.

I have discovered people who have a special passion for all sorts of interesting things. 

Making wedding dresses, scrap booking, growing the best potatoes, bee keeping, fixing up old cars, showing dogs, baking, raising prize winning dairy cows, stamp collecting, wine drinking, pottery, painting. 

The list is endless. 

Today I am going to visit a couple in our Church that have a tourism business. Pauline has a passion around embroidery and tourism so has developed a business of taking people on tours focusing on embroidery.  

She, and husband Mark (passion for Trucks, Buses and Tanks!), are heading off this weekend to Italy and Spain with 25 others on an embroidery adventure. I am helping with some Social media advice. You can follow their extraordinary embroidery adventure on Facebook. 

The point is they are doing something they are passionate about. 

God has wired us all differently. I don't have a passion for fine needle work, or driving tanks because ...

I like to write. 

What do you like to do? 
        What gets you going? 

Could it be that it is something very special that God has given you, and that needs to be shared with others.

The glory of God is man fully alive. St. Irenaeus

Where are you fully ALIVE!

In supporting people with Mental Health issues, one of the key facets of recovery is the discovery of where they are 'fully alive'. Poets, painters, mechanics, gardeners, have discovered new mental wellness though being empowered in their passions.

Where are you fully ALIVE!

Let the glory of God be shown to the world through it.

Questions to consider and leave a comment.

• What are you passionate about? 
• In what activities do you find that the creative juices really start to flow? 

Barry Pearman

To the Power of Being Known

Have you ever been

found,
     found out, 
        or found wanting?

Artist: David Hayward

This picture comes from the story of the Men caught in Hypocrisy.

Jesus went across to Mount Olives, but he was soon back in the Temple again. Swarms of people came to him. He sat down and taught them.

The religion scholars and Pharisees led in a woman who had been caught in an act of adultery. They stood her in plain sight of everyone and said, “Teacher, this woman was caught red-handed in the act of adultery. Moses, in the Law, gives orders to stone such persons. What do you say?” They were trying to trap him into saying something incriminating so they could bring charges against him.

Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger in the dirt. They kept at him, badgering him. He straightened up and said, “The sinless one among you, go first: Throw the stone.” Bending down again, he wrote some more in the dirt.

Hearing that, they walked away, one after another, beginning with the oldest. The woman was left alone. Jesus stood up and spoke to her. “Woman, where are they? Does no one condemn you?”

“No one, Master.”

“Neither do I,” said Jesus. “Go on your way. From now on, don’t sin.” John 8:1-11 (The Message)

Being found out exposes us to the judgment and potential condemnation of others.

Being found wanting brings us to a point of need, a cry for mercy, a hunger for grace. 
Being found and known is what we all need. 

Jesus knew her. 

He knew the reasons why she did what she did, he knew her background, he knew the pain that coursed its way through her life, and he found her. 

If he can find her, he can find you, and its ok.

Jesus in finding this unnamed woman gave her the gift of being known. He knew her deepest core need of being considered as worthy of love. Under all the pain and stain of life, here was one that was made in the image of God. 

Here was beauty waiting to fully released. 

I have recently been reading Anatomy of the Soul by Curt Thompson. 

He writes this. 

It is only when we are known that we are positioned to become conduits of love. And it is love that transforms our minds, makes forgiveness possible, and weaves a community of disparate people into the tapestry of God’s family. 

To be known is to be pursued, examined, and shaken.

To be known is to be loved and to have hopes and even demands placed on you.

It is to risk, not only the furniture in your home being rearranged, but your floor plans being rewritten, your walls being demolished and reconstructed.

To be known means that you allow your shame and guilt to be exposed—in order for them to be healed. Curt Thompson M.D

Jesus sided with the sinner. 

Question to Consider and leave a comment.

• What makes a person safe for you to allow them to know you? 
• What fears surface at the thought of being fully known?

Barry Pearman

Quintet of Prayer

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Quintet of Prayer

I
Prayer can be like sitting at the beach
watching the sunrise,
enthralled at the beauty
and thinking... Wow!
Prayer is sometimes puffing up the Bridle Path

heart thumping, feet plodding
one after the other,
glancing at changing perspectives,
revelling in the intense, feelalive zing,
saying "Hi" to walkers coming down,
reaching the top and checking my time
then the best part, stopping
to drink in the view sunlight
on sea,
curve of the bay,
plain at my feet
stretching to mountains
and filling up with awe.
Prayer is often being still,
silent without words
with only images,
feelings, impressions,
being in God's presence.

II
Prayer is like learning to ski
those parallel turns
relaxing my grip of control,
leaning into free fall,
learning to dance.
Prayer is sometimes watching our rabbit
running 'round our back yard,
playing with his rope swing,
helping me dig the garden,
luxuriating in a good ear scratch,
my wonder at his ease to be
and to do in his rabbitty way,
no puzzling over questions of
"Who am I?" and "Who are you?"
Prayer is often curling up
in a tight ball,
vulnerable, confused,
out of my depth
with no words,
only raw emotion.

III
Prayer is sometimes like light
flashing on in the dark,
a new thought conveying hope,
a new idea for fun,
fresh intuition.
Prayer is like smelling bread cooking
or smelling rain coming,
salty sea air,
the smell of clean towels
hung in sun all day,
babies after their bath.
Prayer is often being a little child
climbing into the ample, motherlap of God
and sinking into a long, accepting cuddle
where I can stay as long as I like.

IV
Prayer is like lovemaking with my beloved,
taking off layers, defences, pretends,
becoming bare,
naked and unashamed
before one who knows me.
Prayer is sometimes picking a tomato
on a sunny day,
sinking my teeth into its roundness,
the taste explosion in my mouth
mmm... so good!
Prayer is often lying face down on the floor
full of remorse and failure,
unable to be or to do as my ideals chide me
and whimpering, “Help”.

V
Prayer is like playing swing ball on our lawn
laughing our heads off so much
we can hardly stand up
let alone hit the ball.
Prayer is sometimes hearing crickets chirping
on crisp starry nights,
hearing loved ones come home,
children's choirs singing,
the silent rising dawn in Lewis Pass.
Mostly prayer
is simply being,
being me
with God.

Kathy Hughes
SGM Refresh Summer 2006-2007

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How to Develop a Compass for the Brain

I am lost and need a sense of true North. A focal point, a direction, a 'something' to aid my progress out of the fog. 

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Mental Illness is one of the worst fog generating experiences you can have. 

Your brain can play tricks on you. 

Your perceptions can change, some times quite dramatically, to being vastly different to everyone else's. 

I well remember someone pointing out to me the 'Little spacemen in the tree'. Psychosis was fogging his thinking, he was unwell, but in his mind he was perfectly well. 

Perhaps though the more subtle and less overt effects of mental illness can be more damaging. The thinking habits nurtured over many years in a watery soup of unawareness.

When the stress becomes too much for the fragile brain, we become disorientated, confused, and truly lost. 

The fog has closed in and it's black.

Mental illness often fog's out a true perception of life. The perspective you have gets fogged by the interpretations you have made about events. Event + Response = Outcome (E+R=O). 

When the Response is effected by an illness then the Outcome can be disastrous. 

When the stress loading becomes too much it is very easy to lose your way.

What we need is some sort of Thinking Compass. 

Something that we can refer back to time and time again, and that will always point towards true North. Always to healthy thinking and hope. 

We don't need some huge massive compass, too big to carry, too heavy to bear, and too incomprehensible to take in. When you are unwell you don't want to be overloaded with information and unrealistic expectations. 

Even previous learning experiences can hinder your uptake of new information.

It’s not so much that the client is unable to grasp the info, as he or she is easily discouraged, based on a fund of previous negative experiences in school. C. Scott McMillin

Do you have a compass for the brain? 

I have a handy dandy little notebook (apologies to Blues Clues fans). It is small enough to fit in my back pocket and easy enough to pull out when I need a sense of direction. 

I have a little notebook that is my Thinking Compass. I use a physical book, not an electronic recording device. I just think something quite tangible happens in the brain when you put pen to paper.

Into this compass goes all sorts of material for me to keep training and coaching my brain.

• Quotes. These maybe quotes I have gleaned out of books, podcasts, social media etc. Short and pithy, powerful and true. 
• Empowering and Challenging questions. Questions that stop you and make you think and consider some tough choices. e.g. Am I truly taking responsibility for my own life, today? In what ways am I going to help someone else today?
• Scripture verses. The Bible is full of verses that speak truth in the innermost being. Read it and glean goodness. 
• Counselling insights. If you are getting counselling perhaps your counsellor can write down some the keys insights they want you to think and consider. 

The criteria for material getting into my Thinking Compass is that there has to have some sort of 'ah hah' moment attached to it. There has to be a 'light bulb turning on experience' when I read it. 

Basically my brain needs some sort of new learning experience for it to make a new pathway. 

Making new pathways in our thinking is hard work, much like building a rope bridge over a chasm. Many repeated journeys back and forth in the brain will make a new thinking bridge strong and secure.

Going back to the Thinking Compass time and time again is needed. 

The thicker the fog, the more times you will have to refer to the compass.  

Question to Consider and leave a Comment.

• Do you have some favourite verses or quotes that are like a compass to you? Why them and would you like to share them in the comments section?
• Have you had an experience of a Mental Illness being like a fog around you, disorientating you, affecting your judgements? What helped you? 
• Can you have too much information? How can you discern what is most helpful and disregard the rest?

Barry Pearman

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7 Steps to Cleaning the Dirty Laundry of the Soul

Washing clothes is a task that you do again and again.

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Cleaning generally comes down to plain old elbow grease, determination and a willingness to look bad in the face of love.

I'm talking about Soul cleaning. Getting rid of the bad stuff, the dust and the dirt of sin.

I think it was Martin Luther who confessed that the greatest loss in the Reformation was the loss of the confessional box. (Please don't quote this as I am not sure if it is accurate. If you know the source etc can you let me know)

We all need a place to go, a person to listen, and a Saviour to heal.

Do you have a habit of confessing your sin? 

David, after he was confronted by the Prophet Nathan about his affair with Bathsheba cries out to God his penitent prayer in Psalm 51.

Generous in love—God, give grace!
Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record.
Scrub away my guilt,
soak out my sins in your laundry.
I know how bad I’ve been;
my sins are staring me down.
You’re the One I’ve violated, and you’ve seen
it all, seen the full extent of my evil.
You have all the facts before you;
whatever you decide about me is fair.
I’ve been out of step with you for a long time,
in the wrong since before I was born.
What you’re after is truth from the inside out.
Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.
Soak me in your laundry and I’ll come out clean,
scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life. Psalm 51:1-7

When we come to God, and others, with a true heart of confession we desire to cleaned and scrubbed in the laundry.

Clothes in David's time were often washed by immersing them in streams and then beating the cloth on a rock. Not just once, but many many times until the deepest stains had been pummelled out.  

It is no wonder that confession is not a popular spiritual exercise to practice.

Confession is exposing the soul's core dirtiness.

Now do we do this?

1. Ask the Holy Spirit to expose what needs cleaning. Some dirt remains hidden, unseen, and buried. The comforting and cleansing power of the Holy Spirit desires to come and minister to the core of your soul.

2. Find a Soul friend. Someone who is safe, who will listen deeply and not condemn. Someone who will point you to Jesus.    

In the presence of a psychiatrist I can only be a sick man; in the presence of a Christian brother I can dare to be a sinner. Dietrich Bonhoeffer

We owe love to all people, but only to a proven friend are we to entrust “the secrets of the heart". Aelred of Rievaulx

3. Name the sin. If pride, don't say I have pride in my life, rather confess where you have pride in your life. "I  have always thought I was better than ...' If you have hurt others ask them how you have hurt them. Write it down if you have to.  

4. Embrace the sin. See it for all its ugliness. Don't just intellectualise it, but take it into yourself at an emotional level. 

5. Place the sin. If we just hold the rawness of the sin within ourselves it will eat us up. It will trap us within its power and lead to self hatred and a bearing of the eternal cost of what has occurred  There is a solution. We take the sin, named and embraced, and we place it at the base of the Cross. On the cross  Jesus took the full penalty for our sins. I imagine a sign being on the Cross saying 'For these sins I died'. I place my list of sins at the base, I hear an eternal whisper 'You are forgiven, washed, pure and clean.

6. Worship and thank Jesus. He has done so much on your behalf.  

7. Repeat wash cycle. More washing to be done as the Holy Spirit reveals. 

Confession is an act of honesty and courage - an act of entrusting ourselves, beyond sin, to the mercy of a loving and forgiving God. Pope John Paul 2

In failing to confess, Lord, I would only hide You from myself, not myself from You. Saint Augustine

Questions to consider and leave a comment

• What experiences of confession have you had? 
• What makes a person 'safe' to confess to? 
• What can be the result of holding on to unconfessed sin?

Barry Pearman

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