Feeding your Identity by what you Read

Today’s Guest blog is from a great mate of mine – Andrew Blackburn. He shares about how what we read can feed who we become. Enjoy the feast.
When I was at intermediate school, I started to appreciate reading.
First CS Lewis’ “Chronicles of Narnia”. I enjoyed the five different books, with their differing analogies around Aslan the Lion representing Jesus, and the different Children’s relationships with him, in good times and bad, even in death.

Later, I began reading Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey - two stories about the Trojan war with the Greeks and the return home from that war.
In those stories, I became familiar with the Greek Gods and fate.
As I moved to Secondary School, I learnt more about the Classics, with studies around the Romans and their own interpretation of death, the Republic, the Empire, it’s rise and gradual decline.
During my Fourth Form year, my Mum was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, Secondary’s in the Lungs and a Brain Tumour that killed her.
I had lost my grandparents on my Dad’s side two years before and remembered that dreaded feeling of loss and uncontrollability and helplessness again. I also remember a simmering anger that I learnt to restrain and control.
At this stage of my life, I began reading historical fiction, particularly anything from J.A. Michener, enjoying the different cultural and global settings and gaining a wider understanding from his research and story-telling about how people live and die.
I learnt to control my feelings (or at least force them down) and became more interested in relationships with girls.
Although I was still attending Church, my life and relationship with Jesus left a lot to be desired.
I was still very angry at God, even if I wouldn’t have admitted that at the time.
I became increasingly interested in “finding God’s will”, delving into the bible, but not really wanting to apply it to my life.
At the same time, I was watching a lot of Crime and Murder shows on TV and soft-porn magazines.
My life was very conflicted and things were only going to get worse before they got better, but that’s a subject of further blogs.
However there is one thing I have learnt from this period of my life.

What you put into your mind, has a way of building you up or pulling you down.

Listen to what the Psalmist writes
There's more: God's Word warns us of danger
      and directs us to hidden treasure.
   Otherwise how will we find our way?
      Or know when we play the fool?
   Clean the slate, God, so we can start the day fresh!
      Keep me from stupid sins,
      from thinking I can take over your work;
   Then I can start this day sun-washed,
      scrubbed clean of the grime of sin.
   These are the words in my mouth;
      these are what I chew on and pray.   Accept them when I place them
      on the morning altar,
   O God, my Altar-Rock,
      God, Priest-of-My-Altar.

Psalm 19: 11-14 The Message (MSG)

What reading has shaped your identity?
What words do you chew on and pray?


Andrew Blackburn
Image by  cindiann

Freedom of Choice Often gets me where I Don't want to be!

I was scared, anxious, panic attacked. I had done nothing wrong. My employer was pleased with me, so much so that he let me do pretty much what I liked, such was the the trust he had in me. 
I was a success, and then out of the shallow cave of my detractors emerged the ‘Green eyed monster’ of jealousy and envy. 

The situation was this. I had been appointed to quite a powerful position. I kept praying and seeking Gods help and in my prayer life and I got the answers I needed for the decisions I faced. 

They weren't always the answers I was wanting and often they would be answers that challenged me to take huge risks, but I followed them consistently and the one I served was rewarded.

Any way, all this success stirred up jealousy within my colleagues. So they hatched a plan to get rid of me. They got my employer to make a rule, a real hard binding rule that he couldn't get out of because if he did then there would be all out civil war and nation splitting would ok. Don't you just the rule makers!

But this was a rule I just could not keep. It went completely against everything I believed and held dear. I decided to break the rule. 

I have a higher and more powerful judge that I fear/ respect than the earth bound rule makers. I would trust him rather than adhere to the rule. He had got me through some similar sticky spots before so I kept on doing what was getting up their noses.

I had Freedom of Choice and Chose to Trust.

The self titled ‘friends’ of mine found out, applied the rule and my boss was obligated to apply the rule, so he threw me to the lions. 

Actual physical Lions. 

My ‘false friends’ thought I was a gonna, but my closest friends stepped in. Angels were dispatched by them and they stroked the big cats heads, got them purring and made pussy’s out them.

I rejoiced, and went off to sleep to rhythm of quiet purring.

Anyway the next morning all hell broke loose. My boss came, found me alive, danced a little jig and gave my feline bed fellows a breakfast of false friends.

You can read more about this in a book with my name on the front cover. It’s called Daniel and you will it find it chapter 6. 

You can find similar stories from my friends Jesus, Paul, and Jeremiah. It’s kind of a recurring theme for people who follow God.

7 Things I have learnt about Freedom of Choice.

 

1. We all have Freedom of Choice but others want to control it, influence it and even take it away, but they can’t.

2. Freedom of Choice is a gift from God. We are not puppets on a string.

3. God won’t take this gift back from us. God won’t cross the our ability to make choices, even when they totally disagree with the choices we make.

4. Others choices can be potentially disastrous to us. This offers us the choice to trust God more or not. We have a choice in how to respond to other’s choices.

5. People generally use this gift of choice for self centred gain. They say in their hearts ‘It’s all about Me’. God says in the heart ‘It’s all about We’. We need to search our hearts and ask ‘Is the decision I am making all about Me or all about We?’.

6. I can choose to live as a victim of the choices I and others have made, or I can choose each day to take self responsibility and spend time with God seeking his way.

7. Freedom of Choice ties rather nicely in with reaping and sowing. There is always a natural consequence to the choices we and others make. God cannot be mocked without justice being served.

Questions to consider and leave a comment.

• What would be the result if God crossed over our ability to make freewill choices? 
• What have you learnt about Freedom of Choice? 

Barry Pearman 

Image: Christ Centered Mall

Perseverance: Walk, Run, Walk, Crawl, Keep Going.

Janine is a friend of mine that I have known for many years. She knows how to persevere in tough times. Enjoy her offering. Barry
Years ago I was a drinker and smoker. One late night in the bar I said, slurring my words. “ I am going to run a marathon.”
Five years later I crossed the finish line of the Takanini marathon, exhausted but exhilarated. I had given up bad habits and instilled new ones, running a bit more each training session, pushing myself and developing stamina until I could reach the finishing line.
Perseverance was the key.
Many years later perseverance is a word I think about a lot as I enter a new season of life where I start a business and at the same time decide to improve my artistic skills. For both these endeavours I need Perseverance.
The first dictionary definition of perseverance is:

Steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state,etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.[i]

To build my business to a profitable level is proving to be hard work. At times I ‘m tempted to look for a salaried position but I persevere as I really want to be self-employed.
At the same time I have decided to develop my artistic skills. I have discovered a passion for art and want to explore this creativity. I love the classes and workshops I am doing, especially when they go well.
This weekend I attended two great artistic workshops The first day I could not get my painting right, despite some helpful pointers.
That night I was tempted to give up, “ I’ll never be any good”. I had very negative thoughts. However on reflection I realized I had learnt two lessons: (1) Listen, learn and improve and (2) what not to do in a painting.
Sunday I came to the second workshop with an attitude of humility, listened to the teacher and this time I was pleased with my work. I was a bit more patient and realized that I can’t always get things right but I will get more things right if I keep going through the difficulties.
Perseverance will lead to improvement.
Perseverance is important in my faith walk. In fact the second dictionary definition relates to Theology.

“Continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.”[ii]

Paul says in Romans 5: 3-5

“We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

In my 30’s I decided to consciously walk with God. At first it was like my life is going to be great. It even seemed I had a full cure from arthritis. Then I became depressed. I had a past I needed to face and life was painful. I wrestled with God about many things that I had done and had experienced. I blamed God for being me. With God’s help and good counsel I persevered and my faith strengthened. I knew for sure God was there for me in the bad as well as the good.
A few years later I am coming out of another season of depression. I don’t like being like this but I persevere and do what I can when I am like this.
Somehow I know God is there and know hope, and even a certain joy, that there is something better beyond the pain.
This depression, this too will pass.
What is a challenge in your life where you just have to persevere? What keeps you going?
Janine Blackburn
Image: One of Janine’s latest's masterpieces

---

[i] http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/perseverance
[ii] http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/perseverance

How to Love them when they keep shooting at You!

The early church leader Paul was an amazing leader. He took on huge challenges and amongst them infighting within his own Christian community. Nothing changes much does it!

One of the challenges he throws us is how to love whilst people are stabbing you in the back.
He had an experience where fellows Christians were quite happy to see him in prison. Ouch!
Paul’s response was to Rejoice!
Yikes, hard call.
Yesterday I preached a sermon on this at River Valley Baptist.
Check out the pdf here at my website
Barry Pearman
Image: Reverend Fun

Pt. 5. My Dance with Depression and What I Have Learnt

Depression can be a killer. For those who daily face the darkness, they need help. In this series I share a few dance steps I have learnt.

9. Do Something!
You may not feel like doing anything. Don’t trust your feelings, they are not a reliable guide. Your ‘stinky thinky’ might be whispering lies such as ‘what's the point’, ‘I fail at everything’, ‘who cares anyway’.
Sometimes you need to tell your feelings to ‘SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP’.
I believe that the setting and achieving of goals, even super small ones like brushing your teeth, are crucial to mental wellness. We were made in the image of God who just loved to create and do things. Imagine the fun they had making this world! He delights in work and calls us to be active.
One of the features I have discovered in my own dance is that when I have no goal or sense of purpose it’s then that ‘stinky thinky’ knocks on the door.
Its always important to have a plan and a purpose.
Now you can take it too far and do too much. The key is to have some goals that are important to you, because you are valuable, you are worth it.
When you are facing your day, do what you can do, something that is actually achievable. Beware of the ‘should do’s’, ‘must do’s’, and ‘ought to do’s’. Instead focus on the ‘Can do’s’.
And stop ‘shouding’ on yourself!
Do you have goals for your week or day? Are they achievable?
10. Exercise
One of the key activities is to keep active, to exercise. This doesn't mean having to join a gym, do a million press-up's etc. For me it meant walking. Others swim or run, for me it was as simple as taking the dog for a walk.
When I was most depressed I would take the dog for walks around the block every day, taking about an hour and half to complete.
It gave me a point of focus each day, something I could achieve. It got me outside into the sunlight. My body achieved some tiredness so I was able to sleep better.
Exercise also causes some lovely hormones called endorphins to be naturally released. Endorphins are the bodies natural painkiller and can trigger very positive feelings. 
To overcome the barrier of ‘I hate exercise’, follow these tips.

1. KISS - Keep it Simple Stupid. The more complex you make the exercise task, the less your likely to do it on a tough day. Keep it simple and achievable.
2. Do it with someone else. For me it was the dog. He would come to me each day when it was ‘Walkies’ time and look at me, begging me, to grab the leash and make the first step. For others it might be a friend or neighbour or even a walking group. You might be the person to help someone else too!
3. Be Gentle on yourself. Don’t over exercise, start small (and I don’t mean walking to the bathroom). Your not training for the New York Marathon, yet.
4. Make it Enjoyable. I don’t enjoy exercise, but exercise is important so I had to find ways to make it enjoyable or I simply would give up too soon. For me it was to listen to some music and podcasts in my mp3 player.
5. Have a tangible goal. On a shorter walking route I use sometimes, it is a signpost. It is a turning point that I have to physically walk around to return home. I wont have achieved my goal unless I have physically walked around that signpost.

How can you build exercise into your weekly/ daily plans?
In this series I have shared a few ideas that have helped me. Just like a dance there are many steps, and many others to be learned. There isn’t just one ‘cure all’ solution, but more a combination of many ideas.
So, have you found this series helpful? Leave a comment below and share this blog with others.
Barry Pearman
Image: Flicker Creative Commons

The Fear Factor in Building your Faith

Our Guest Blogger, Angela Boyson, continues to tell us about how she handles fear. Ange loves the great outdoors, coaching people in Kayaking, Rock climbing and other fear based activities.
As a kid I was absolutely terrified of bath plugholes, to be more precise, of water going down the bath plughole.

One time when I was three my Gran pulled the plug while I was in the bath, I ran screaming, dripping and naked from the bathroom to my mum. As an adult I still don’t like water going down a plughole, it’s more the noise and the suction that occurs when the plug is pulled, but I can clear the plug if it is blocked. I don’t like doing it, but I can do it.
Doing what makes you fearful is so empowering, Adrenaline pumps through your veins and self-confidence sky rockets.
You are the master of your fear.
Subconsciously you choose to react to a situation, sometimes in fear; so you can choose not to feel that fear. It is so hard, trying to control the mind, to turn the mind onto what is real and what is not.
All fear is the same in principle. Stomach knots up, feeling sick, sweaty hands, shaking, all these are symptoms of fear.
I use the same skills to deal with all types of fear whether it be physical, mental, rational and irrational.
Here is how I control my fear.

• First I calm myself down. ‘Breathing, self talking, self soothing’
• Next I acknowledge it. ‘Yes I’m afraid’
• Then I work out why I am feeling fear. ‘Scared of failing and no one liking me’
• Then I accept it. ‘It is ok to be afraid, even if it is irrational’

These first steps are really important. If I don’t know that I’m afraid and why I’m afraid I can’t fix it.
Dealing with the fear, I ask myself;

• Am I in danger? ‘Yes/No’
• What am I in danger of? ‘Failing and no one liking me’
• What can I do with the fear? ‘Find something I enjoy, make goals, and work hard’
• How can I change the fear? ‘Look at the truth of the matter’
• How can I use the fear? ‘Motivation’

The faith question is, ‘What does God want us to do with fear?’
Deuteronomy 7:21 (BBE) says this

‘Have no fear of them: for the Lord your God is with you, a great God greatly to be feared.’

This is an interesting verse, and as I read this verse I understand it as this; don’t be scared of whatever you’re scared of because our God is with us and He is scarier than anything on Earth.
It reminds me of a saying I heard, ‘Don’t be afraid, fear God’.
God is bigger than anything on this world, He also controls everything. Whatever happens in this world God knows about it and He can use everything for His good. There is a reason for everything.
Deuteronomy 7:22 NIV continues

‘The Lord your God will drive out those nations before you, little by little. You will not be allowed to eliminate them all at once, or the wild animals will multiply around you.’

As you can see God is doing things in His time for the good of us.
If He answered our prayers and destroyed our enemies straight away, new enemies would attack us, but if He does it slowly and allows us to build up our defences we will be stronger through Him.
When our enemies are defeated we will have strength through God to defend ourselves against new enemies and we won’t let them in to begin with.
Be patient and let God work in you, slowly building you up, so you can do great things through Him who is our God.
What types of fear - physical, mental, rational or irrational is God calling you to face and grow your faith through?
Ange Boyson

 

Pt. 4. My Dance with Depression and What I have learnt.

I experience Depression. It reached a tipping point last year and in this series of blogs I am sharing what I learned both from personal experience and walking with others about Depression.
7. Medication helps, some.
OK, I take some medication. Since last year I have been taking a small dose of an Anti-depressive medication. I am thankful for this as it has dampened down the power of some very powerful, intrusive, suicidal, negative thoughts. It also helped with my sleep, allowing me the space to continue working and being part of life.
Basically with the stress I was under, my brain chemistry changed. My fragile brain soup altered and I needed help.
It’s not the cure all, quick fix, solution. It’s only part of the package.
Will I need to be on it forever, possibly not, but others do and that’s ok.
Taking medication can carry stigma’s, but it is not about weakness but about having strength to face that we as humans are fragile and not self sufficient.
Medication helps, some.
My advice is to get some advice from others.
Your Doctor can help, but you may want to get a second or third opinion. Don't be in too much of a hurry to come off them too, rebuilding the fragile plastic brain takes time, be gentle on yourself.
Get feedback from those around you. An objective, truthfully honest view of how you are. Those around you are the ones who have to live with you!
Your perception, about yourself, maybe through rose tinted glassed! 
Don’t expect over night miracles, brain medication takes time to build up to a therapeutic level. Keep taking the med’s, be regular and consistent.
Medication may well be the life saver you need!
What are your thoughts about the taking of Medication, are they helpful, hindering or harmful?
8. Singing

Sing a new song to the Lord.
I love music, ever since I was a child I was surrounded by music. My parents had a love of music. Mum played the piano and the record player. Dad sung on the old chugging David Brown tractor. He would joyfully sing his favourite hymns and chorus’s as he went around the farm.
I reckon singing does things in the brain. In fact it does, here is an interesting link to explore.
For me, singing gives my brain something else to think about, an alternative to negative stinky thinky.
I sing all sorts of songs. I sing praise and worship songs. I sing in Tongues - a spiritual gift I have. I sing songs that I make up from verses of scripture that I want to memorise. I sing along with others whether in a group or listening to a CD etc..
Singing is a gift from God. Some believe that God even sang creation into existence.
You may well think ‘I can’t sing’. It doesn't matter, sing anyway! You may well be singing new thoughts and beliefs into your brain.
How much do you sing and what does it do for your thinking?
Barry Pearman
Image: Free Digital Images; Morgue Files

What Fear forces me to do

This weeks Guest Blog is from Angela Boyson. She loves the great outdoors, coaching people in Kayaking, Rock climbing and other fear based activities. She is currently preparing herself to face some academic fears and train in Outdoor Education. Go for it Ange!


Let’s go back to the Stone Age.


Fear was a very necessary emotion. It could mean the difference between life or death. 


Being attacked by a Sabre -toothed Tiger, fear kicks in; Run Away!


Another tribe trying to steal your women; Attack! Fear was used very much as a motivator, a motivator to survive, ‘fight or flight’.


Present day, fear is still a great motivator, but it is used in different ways. Fear of losing your job motivates you to work hard; fear of crashing your car motivates you to drive slow and carefully.
Taking fear back to the basics, it’s still all about ‘fight or flight’.


For myself I have split fear into four types.

1. Physical Fear; There is a danger that is or can attack; sabre-toothed tiger, attacking tribe, rapist.
2. Mental Fear; There is a danger, but it cannot attack; high cliff (could fall), dark (can’t see).
3. Rational Fear; There is an actual danger and your life could be threatened. (Any of the above examples)
4. Irrational Fear; There is no danger, just what you think might happen; phone rings, leaving the house, change.

Did God create fear as a survival tactic? Definitely, it is a great motivator for survival but God also created fear because He wants us to trust Him.


There are some good stories in the Bible about fear being used as motivation.


Jonah felt fear when God told him to go to Nineveh, so he ran away.

‘But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord.’ (Jonah 1:3 NIV)

God wouldn’t accept this so He sent a wind to motivate Jonah to do the right thing.

‘The storm is sent after Jonah, because God has work for him to do, and it is sent to fetch him back to it.’ (Matthew Henry’s Commentary of the Whole Bible)

Fear, it motivates us to run or to fight, but we have the choice. We can either use the fear as motivation to do the right thing, to do what God wants us to do, or we can run away and sin against God.


In my life I have run away from what I could be doing, what God wants me to do, but each time God has sent a storm into my life to remind me to turn back to Him.
Have you had times when you’ve felt God prodding you to do something and you’ve ignored Him and done your own thing?


What happened?


Was there a storm in your life?


In the end Jonah turned back to God and did the right thing, it was tough for him, as it is for us, we all have to face storms in our lives, and they may not be as glamorous as getting eaten by a whale, just remember as you are facing your storms, Trust God.


God sends the storms because He wants us to do the right thing, and He wants us to need Him, to love Him, to trust Him.
He wants us to turn to Him in every part of our lives.


What fears have you faced up to and how has facing them changed your life?


Angela Boyson

Pt. 3 My Dance with Depression and What I have Learnt

6. Men and Women are different
I have been sharing some insights about what I have learnt about depression.


Male, Female, were different. Ok, well duh! We all know this!
We have been wired quite differently by God to be complimentary to each to other. Now this blog post is not designed to be a place where we are going to argue black and white views, there is a lot of grey in the differences of men and women. So don’t get too polarised in what I say.


Let’s look at some key differences.


Women: The Hebrew word  for Female is ‘Naqebah’ (pronounced Nik ay vah). This word comes from the verb ‘Naqab’ (Na calf) and means to pierce, perforate, or bore. Essentially the word Female means ‘opening’. To be ‘open’ means to welcome people into her life, for them to experience Gods goodness within her, that God given beauty that he has placed deep within her.


Men: The Hebrew word  for Male is ‘Zakar’ (Zac ab). The word Male was apparently used to describe a person in government and this person’s job was to remember what the King was to do and to tell the King. They might remind the King ‘You have an appointment with such and such’. A Male is one who remembers – the remembering one. A man is to remember the character and nature of God. Who God is, what God is like, and then to use all that stored knowledge and memories in all that they do in life.


Women: The chief fear of a woman is undesirability. At the core of a women's being they ask - ‘Is there any thing desirable about me. If a man really saw me would he want me, would he find me desirable, not just as a sex partner but would he find me desirable at all’


Men: The chief fear of a man is that he is weightless, that there is nothing substantial, or powerful about him. That he is not going to make much difference in his world, in his relationships particularly with women, with the children he has, and with his friends. 


Women: The lie’s they say to themselves are ‘I am ugly, both externally and internally’, ‘No one loves me’, ‘I have no beauty’.


Men: The lies they say to themselves are ‘I’m useless’, ‘I never do anything right’, ‘Everything I do, I fail in’.


Women: Depression is often linked to others devaluing the beauty they have. Every women loves to be told in many and various ways that they are beautiful.


Men: Depression is often linked to others devaluing what they do. Every man loves to have respect for what they do.


Women: Porno-graphy whispers to the subconscious woman that she can have the love of a man, even if its on a screen or in the words on a piece of paper, by his moving into her world and affirming her as beautiful, all without any relational risk of vulnerability and rejection. Getting the feelings of being loved is cheap, easy and she is control.


Men: Porno-graphy speaks to the subconscious man that he can have the respect of a woman, even an image on a screen or on a piece of paper, by her revealing (opening) herself to him, all without any relational risk. Getting the feelings of respect is cheap, easy and he is in control.


Question: How does abuse, in any form, affect Men and Women differently? What does it rob them of and how does this play out in Depression?


Barry Pearman
Image: by Auzigog Creative Commons Flickr


Join the conversation, post a comment!
Share the conversation and pass it on to a friend.